Michchami Dukkadam

​

I'm not a saint to forgive you,
Nor am I a sinner to ask for your forgiveness.
This Samvatsari I seek Michchami Dukkadam for not being my true self.

Michchami Dukkadam, dear me, for the times 

I turned deaf to the inner voice

Michchami Dukkadam, for not giving you as much importance as

'log kya kahenge'

Michchami Dukkadam, beloved me, for the times

I convinced myself I am not good enough

Michchami Dukkadam, sweet I, for the times

Of burdening me with unrealistic expectations

Michchami Dukkadam, sweet one, for 

Allowing to be defined by others' limited perception

Michchami Dukkadam, sweetheart, for 

Feeding lies about right and wrong, good and bad, black and white

Michchami Dukkadam, for stressing out

Over trivial things, people and situations

Michchami Dukkadam, for not celebrating

The smallest joys that life brings, like breathing

Michchami Dukkadam, dearest me, for all the resistance,

Self-doubts, self-criticisms, self-scrutiny

Michchami Dukkadam, for not being around 

When you are the only one that truly needs, wants, loves me unconditionally

Michchami Dukkadam, for not taking the risks,

For giving into fears and insecurities

Michchami Dukkadam, for not acknowledging 

All the love and kindness you radiate relentlessly

Michchami Dukkadam, sweetheart, for developing cold feet

When you bring something profound and delicious

Michchami Dukkadam, dear one, for all that I should be apologising for

but allowing my arrogance to get in the way

Michchami Dukkadam, for putting you through 

annoying people and situations for no good reason

Michchami Dukkadam, also, for not knowing how to make amends or make things right again.

Michchami Dukkadam

For hurting myself

Knowingly or/and unknowingly

Willingly or/and unwillingly

Intentionally or/and unintentionally;

by any of my thoughts, speech action.

May I find it in my heart to forgive me :)

Stillness whispers, 'There is nothing to amend. No one to forgive. Look into my eyes and dance.'

And that's how an apology gets accepted. 

Hear You

She looked all of a naïve primary school girl

Bright eyed, face smiling, small built and hair that curl.

And she won’t listen

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

Her mother informed of her hearing impairment

Yet with her infectious nonchalant beam, she would befriend.

Some complained she spoke too loud

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

She was indifferent to the stares and whispers

She spoke innocently without filters.

She was blissfully unaware of the mute happiness she radiated

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

For such a fragile girl, she was surely well kempt  

Long hair tied tidily, scarf-secured to fight icy breeze and clothes ironed.

She stood proud and apart

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

Every morning the eyes would search this tiny being; wondering if she heard the bell

She would always be the last one to emerge out of her shell.

Being late never looked so graceful

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

Once when asked, ‘If all was well?’

She flustered, shifted uncomfortably and mumbled a few valuable words to tell.

Being a witness of this bravery, a stone heart could melt

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

She didn’t turn up, one day

Search saw her shivering under a thick overweight blanket; the big teary eyes gave way.

This is how broken looked 

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

She laid her faith in bag full of medicines

Put all her effort to understand life beyond pills.

Failing miserably

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

Before she left she enquired with hopeful eyes,

“Will I be able to ‘hear’ if I did everything I learnt here?”

Eyes of a loner conveyed, “Be quiet; so you can hear You.”

She said, “Be loud, so I can hear You”.

So Full

We were 4, I think,

You were such a nuisance, winning hearts with a wink.

Always annoying everyone;

You walked in like a teacher's favourite, oh-so-obedient.

Walking out, you sported a silly smile, messed hair and ruined uniform;

You never 'behaved'!

They attempted to discipline you time and again,

Your vivacious presence knew no refrain.

So free, so assured, so blissfully infectious, so easy to befriend;

Not knowing this was to end.

We were, 8ish I think

You lost something precious in a blink.

Your eyes that day, full of nothingness, were such a bother;

Making me helplessly wished I had something to offer.

You had to leave, with eyes so empty,

Don't remember if one showed sympathy or empathy.

‘Cause you felt so new; suddenly so old, so matured, so detached, so wise;

Did you truly lose something or found something nice?

You left.

Not knowing this was to end, too.

At 27 I wonder,

If you still wear that silly smile.

Or has the society's burden ceased the child inside?

Do you still chase those butterflies and frogs alike.

Or bury your head in a MacBook ignoring the ticking time?

Do you clean shave and dress for the occasion.

Or simply let your mood craft your own fashion?

Do you still colour your mouth with unhealthy cheap roadside gola.

Or have you learnt to behave and dine without indulging in some trivial hoopla?

Listen to the whisper…

You are a BLESSED child of the Universe

(I hope you know that.

Let me remind you anyway.)

You are a BLESSED child of the Universe.

Embrace the beginnings with love and joy

Knowing they will end.

Kiss the endings a happy and cherished good bye

Knowing they will end.

Fill your being with this whisper

Be so full that ‘nothingness’ will no longer bother.

-Shivani (in Love)

Not Everyday

​

​It's not everyday

You wake up feeling OK

It's not everyday

You are grateful towards your Mom​

It's not everyday

You hug your Dad

It's not everyday

You join a new​ ​​, ​​harrowing​,​ blinding job for money

It's not everyday

You quit that same,​harrowing​,​ blinding job ​​​for peace​

It's not everyday 

You meet that being who ​soothes your being​​

It's not everyday

You meet a being that burns your conditioning​

It's not everyday

A person who just walked into you life, turns your world upside down

It's not everyday

You notice unconditional kindness in some unexpected corner

It's not everyday

You act strong when all you wanna do is let loose

It's not everyday

You bless a spontaneous decision that was once just an 'impluse'

It's not everyday 

You notice the difference between an impulsive and a spontaneous and a desperate decision

It's not everyday

Some people are nasty to you and you won't care

It's not everyday

Some people are nasty to you and you won't mind

It's not everyday

Your boss is being an a**

It's not everyday

You are being an a**

It's not everday

You enjoy walking for no good reason

It's not everyday

Your salary fills your heart with pure joy

It's not everyday

You get tired of being part of the professional drama

It's not everyday 

You are hooked to your phone for communicating with that one person

It's not everyday 

You meet that mate does a salsa with your soul​

It's not everyday

You surrender to your lover body, heart and soul

It's not everyday

You lust for someone else while being with someone else

It's not everyday

You accept your religion

It's not everyday

You reject your religion

It's not everyday

You see everything as miracle

It's not everyday

You ponder, 'Who has been the one in between these 'everydays'?'

It's not everyday

You will have an absolute answer to this

It's not everyday

That the answer no longer matters

Eyes of a Loner and Lips of a Sinner

Those few of you who know my intense connection with "eyes of a loner & lips of a sinner", here is putting together some lines. There are many layers to them and just like it happens with everything in life, you may take any interpretation that 'makes sense' to you. However, my suggestion would be; DON'T try and make sense of it! Just FEEL it. Don't wonder what went through my mind when I wrote this or what metaphor I mean by certain word or why have I structured it in certain way or any just literary critic-like nonsense. 

Just feel your breathing and read. Read the emotions that it creates within you, read with love!

Eyes of a loner

  

TEXT
Their paths crossed.

In a moment there was oneness of pain & pleasure, heartbreak & union, tear &smile, love & hate.

Only thing remained- eyes of a loner.

Lips of a Sinner

TEXT
When they come together
Blissful silence fills the heart
Like butterflies in spring flutter

When they are apart
Out comes cold shiver, angry rant, empty promises
Like a vacuum that doesn't depart

When they turn outward
The world is not bold enough to handle them
Like an unsaid crime committed

When they lay real close and stretch

The infinite love radiates and overflows

Like the one Rumi's poem fetch

Dear Universe, such is your wonder
In love with lips of a sinner

 

If loner's eyes and sinner's lips have moved something inside you, SMILE. :)

Love,

Shivani

Images Sources:

Buddha:- http://goo.gl/dKAwG5

Shiva:- http://goo.gl/Xg8usw

Have Gala Time- Beat the Mumbai Heat with Fluids

It’s scorching heat in India! The sunscreens are stuffed in handbags; umbrellas are out, deserted streets in the afternoon, Twitter and Facebook Statistics in India are crowded with mercurial complains, marketing execs are busy making excuses to stay in office! Yes, the ‘Summer’ has arrived in big way and if you are in the city of Mumbai, one with extreme humid climate then you are contemplating every possible excuse to beat the heat.

Water is possibly the most suggested and healthy way to beat the heat but when you are in the City of Dreams, you definitely need more to keep you hydrated; considering most don’t think that carrying a water bottle is “cool”! Read on to find out quick ways to ‘Beat the Heat’ and have a gala time in this climate, too!

Beat the Heat with Fluids, Have a Gala Time:-

Panha

·         Panha (Raw Mango Juice):- It is a regular at every Gujju (Gujurati) and Marwardi homes during summers. Steamed pulp of Kairi (raw mango) is crushed and mixed with mint paste, Jaljira powder, salt and sugar. Huge vessels are stored in each one’s refrigerator and is super refreshing when served Chilled!!!! At my home panha made out of about 2 kgs of kairi exhausts in mere 4 days!


·         Sugar-can(e) Cool:- Yet another, refreshing fruit juice which is available across the city throughout the year. Ganna (Sugarcane) is cooling agent and hence, nothing can beat the heat like it does. Nothing at all revives your spirit like sugarcane does! However, if you are diabetic then you would really avoid having it and switch to Panna instead, to have a gala time.

A Nimbu Pani Vendor

·         Lemon Heaven:- At every nook and corner of Mumbai city you would find lemon juice (nimbu pani) vendors with hand carts. Yes, they may not be hygienic, but will quench your thirst when you are on move! Avoid having any too much of ice in it and insist on adding some ginger instead.

·         Desi Chillers (Buttermilk or Lassi): Very Indian! I am told in many cities across India, it is chaas (butter milk) and Lassi (sweetened curd) that are sold on thelas and dairy shops at discounted rates to satiate your summer thirst and beat the heat in a desi way! Make any of one of them part of your daily meals, at least lunch and see how rejuvenated you would be! No need to carry from home, the nearest restaurant will have it for!


·         Bring it down with Sharbats :-  Sharbat is a flavoured drink made from fruits and flower petals. There are numerous flavours available and are typically supposed to be mixed with water or milk and served chilled. In most Indian homes, they are frequently served to guests, in summers especially. My favourites are Rose, Litchi and Kesar (Saffron)!

Banana Shake

·         Shake heat with Smoothies:-Milkshakes and smoothies are part of coffee shop generation and when you want to fill your tummy and get you cool back, this is all you need! During summers, nothing satisfies your senses like Banana, Strawberry and Mango, smoothies or milkshakes!

As far as juices are concerned to beat the heat in Mumbai summers I prefer Sugarcane and Panna! Buttermilk is an essential part of my diet which takes a hiatus only when mangoes are around, because mangoes and buttermilk is a bad combination. With regular supply of these fluids you are sure to have a gala time in sweltering heat of Mumbai.

Having Gala Time During India- Pakistan Semi Final

In India, Cricket is a Religion! It is the only thing that brings the whole nation together irrespective of their caste, creed, religion or designation. With India- Pakistan semi final scheduled at Mohali tomorrow and everyone doing their bit to add to the jingoism, here is how you will watch people having gala time during the match, no matter which part of the cricketing world they are in:

• Making most of the half or full day off from work by stocking up popcorns, glasses, bottles of water (alcohol in many cases), lots of unlimited food supply.

• Peeking at the any TV screen that comes their way (TV showrooms, malls, offices, railway stations, etc)
  

• Tuning into or stopping by to listen to score updated from National Radio station (highest listener-ship guaranteed on this day).

• Cheering and catcalling at ever boundary hit, wicket taken, frictions sparking, umpire's decision given, etc.

• Each one playing multiple roles of captain, umpire, commentator, fielder and the audience of course.

• Those at work minus the television set would keep refreshing cric info or yahoo cricket or rediff cricket or their twitter accounts or would be on phone to get regular updates.

• Online cricket
  fanatics would be tweeting, wall posting and commenting on each move taking place on the match, social media monitoring of your walls and tweet updates would second that.
  
  
  
• The ones in the Stadium, who would be envied by half the world, would be shouting at top of their voices, sporting tri colours (on t-shirt, face, body), holding bold one lines, cheering relentlessly and absolutely letting their hair down.

• Easiest time to make friends with unknowns, especially if you are watching the India Pakistan cricket battlefield on a public platform. So, if any of you wanted to make friends with any Indian or Pakistani, get involved in their cricketing conversations supporting their country and you are sure have found a genuine friend.

• Having Gala Time on social media will be fun for those who would love to tweet it out on social media while our players sweat it out on field.

• One would also see a species of professionals who would call in sick and be happy about it!
  

  

• Also, the people who aren't interested in cricket (which would be rare) they would be having gala time commuting as the streets and local transports are bound to be empty, almost making you wonder if the country is really under war!
 

Having gala time during India Pakistan world cup semi final at Mohali, is really relative! But the idea is to enjoy a good match of cricket as it builds an awesome celebratory foundation to a have gala time watching your team in ICC World Cup 2011 Finals!

P.S.: Its just a match, so have a gala time, whether or not your team wins!

Life is a Party! Have a Gala Time

Get colourful, vibrant and high in celebration

And we are back! In a new improved avatar with relentless focus on the 'Celebrating Life'! At some point in time it hits you hard in head and heart that everything around is just an illusion, a tiny part of the bigger game plan, that you can't change the rules, but you can make your life worth living and for peaceful by having a 'Gala Time' each moment! 


Yes, it is that simple! We all agree life is complicated and unfair, it is time to look at its brighter side, for Life is a Party and we are the organisers. :D Forthcoming posts will be attempts to bring out the 5Ws and 1 H of indulging in life's celebration no matter the adversities and successes. 


You would soon discover that most of the times indulging in party is just as simple as kissing the mirror, until then keep on rocking and have a gala time!